My last posting, and the many gracious and thought provoking responses to it, gave rise to this one. As JB said, I do hope that this will develop into a regular open dialogue between us. I’ve been blessed (and that’s not a term I use often) with so many wonderful touchstones in my life, and I consider that to be my greatest gift.
So in that vein of thinking, I’ve often wondered what it is that we get from our friendships, why it is that we love who we love, and what it is that these relationships do to us. It’s an old question: do we ever really know another person, or do we just have a false impression of who they are in our minds? Like so many dualistic questions, there’s probably a continuum in there that describes the truth better than a one-or-the-other answer. And another question that comes directly out of this is: do I love my friends because of who they are, or is it because of who I am when I’m with them?
Hmm, that makes a humanist like me a little wary of answering, for fear of demeaning friendships and turning them into something selfish and self-serving. Do I love you, or do I just love the way you make me feel? Again, maybe there’s a continuum there… There’s more to this idea, but I’ll save that for next posting. For now I’m going to think about what it is that these connections really mean to us, why it is that we’re drawn to each other, and what it is that’s happening when we reach for each other, hoping to again join in recognition of the moment.
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Even a broken clock is still right twice a day...
About Me
- Gman
- Procrastinator extraordinaire; runs with scissors; does not play well with others; quietly talkative; likes squirrels a lot; often has trouble falling asleep; probably won't live to be old; uses semicolons against Vonnegut's advice
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2 comments:
Reading this post makes me think about the many different definitions of love. How it varies from person to person, from level to level: familial love, friendship love, romantic love, etc.
I think we are all at times wont to observe our own motives in our friendships and relationships; especially as we grow older, and hopefully wiser, we naturally become more self-aware. As much as we evolve as people over the course of our lifetime, so do our friendships evolve. Of course we are going to guage and evaluate the relation between our selves to our friendships, especially the ones that are true and enduring; we are an observant and insatiably curious lot. These questions you pose, that is to say, to evaluate, theorize and postulate the many different meanings for the love we share with others, are all acts that keep us engaged, keep us really *wanting* to know one another (and that is the secret to really knowing someone - a healthy and active curiosity), keep us *alive*, and exactly what I think keep us present in the moment, ready and able to appreciate a person for all their worth. After all, if we didn't reflect and ponder on the people we love, why we love them, and even why we love ourselves around them, then we wouldn't ever be able to fully appreciate that beauty and worth to its highest degree.
Don't let the questions get to your humanist self - get exhilarated that you are evolving. :D
Werd up.
I think familiarity plays a large role as well. I don't think it can be selfish to love someone regardless of the reasons we rationalize in our heads. The pureness of truly connecting to someone can't be defiled by the mind. Remember what Socrates said. The mind is a horse to be broken. (was that him? lol) Whoever said it was right on. We are not our thoughts.
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